7 Ways to Get Back to the Sweet Spot

“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace”Galatians 5:22
Cody and Tori had been married for 14 years when they enrolled in our Marriage Enrichment program. No question that they were in love with each other, but unfortunately their relationship lacked emotional and physical intimacy. Their marriage had drifted off into the “sour patch” and they had no idea how to get back on track.Some of the couples we mentor have major conflicts in their marriages that need to be resolved, or in some cases they need to learn to forgive. Some have more serious circumstances and are in need of professional counseling. However, we find that the vast majority of couples have simply drifted from the “sweet spot” to the “sour patch” over time and have no idea how to get back into the “sweet spot.”During our seven-week Marriage Enrichment program, each couple receives what we call a Treasure Chest of Tools. This includes 22 ways to get back into the “sweet spot” in a marriage. Below I will cover just 7 of those ways to get back into the “sweet spot.”1.     Prayer- This is clearly the most important tool in any marriage. If Angie and I are arguing about something, all I have to do to get us back on track is to pray together. This always softens our hearts—a sure way to immediately get us back into the “sweet spot.”

2.     King/Queen for the day- This is a simple tool that I guarantee will put pizazz in your marriage. Designate one day a week when he is “King” and one day when she is “Queen” for the day. My day to be King is every Saturday. Angie starts my day off by giving me a 20-minute massage. We generally eat out on Saturday, so I pick the restaurant where we will eat. Angie will often text me a sweet message or write a love note on the bathroom mirror with an erasable marker. She usually gives me a head massage in the middle of the day or comes up with other creative ways to make my day special. You cannot stay in the “sour patch” long when two days of the week are focused on treating each other so special.

3.     I’m sorry, so I win- This tool is simple: if you have a disagreement, the first one to say they are sorry wins. This especially works for competitive couples. Imagine: You can win by simply saying you are sorry!

4.     Smile- We have all heard how powerful a smile can be. It is also powerful in a marriage.

5.     I feel most loved when- Ask your spouse to complete the sentence, “I feel most loved when…” This tool is easy; it comes with instructions.

6.     Ten things I love about you- Make a list of ten things you love about your spouse and set a special time to share it with him or her.

7.     Mad for five minutes- This is one works every time I use it. When your spouse disappoints you, let him or her know that you are mad and that you are going to be mad for five more minutes. Your spouse will probably break out laughing, but he or she will also get the point that you are mad.

Cody and Tori not only learned about the Treasure Chest of 22 tools, but they began using them. They still have disagreements and will occasionally say something that is hurtful to one another, but now they have a “tool box” of 22 different methods to help them get back into the “sweet spot.” The happiest people in the world are married, but so are the unhappiest people. The stakes are high, but the reward is great. If you want to take your marriage to the next level, visit our website at www.marriagebygod.com

May God bless and keep you in His loving care!

Ed and Angie Wright

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