A New Love Language Discovered

“God answered their prayers because they trusted in Him.” 1 Chronicles 5:20

Recently we were mentoring Brian and Sarah thru our seven-week marriage enrichment course, Putting the “Happily” Into Your EverAfter, which is designed to take a marriage from good to great. A couple is mentored by a mature Christian couple who teaches them time-tested truths, activities, and exercises for living out God’s great design for marriage. They meet couple-to-couple as they go through 18 different topics.

This particular week we were covering one of our favorite subjects, Gary Chapman’s study ofThe Five Love Languages. Brian and Sarah had watched a short video in which Gary explained that inside each of us is an emotional love tank. If it is full, the whole world looks bright and you dwell in your sweet spot. When your love tank is not filled by those most important to you, you feel neglected. Chapman identified five ways that couples express and receive love: acts of service, affirmation, gifts, special time, and touch. He further explained that what speaks love to your spouse may be different from what speaks love to you. The best way to love someone is to love them the way they want to be loved. In other words, speak to them in their love language.

As we came together for them to reveal the results of their love language assessment, Sarah shared that the survey indicated that her number-one love language is “words of affirmation.” She excitedly went on to say that she was certain she had discovered a sixth love language. We looked at her inquisitively as she went on to say, “The sixth love language is a ‘godly man.’ I love hearing words of affirmation from Brian, but it does not come close to filling my love tank as much as when he takes me aside to pray with me, or read the Bible together, or when we work together in ministry serving orphans in the Philippines.”

Sarah’s comment reminded us of a time when we were conducting a training class with our premarital counselor couples. The subject of a godly husband came up, and the women in the group passionately expressed how much they each valued being married to a man of God. As the discussion progressed, one wife shared that she found it very romantic when her husband prays with her. The other wives wholeheartedly agreed. They concurred that when a husband lovingly embraces his wife and prays, it can be some of the best foreplay!

I (Ed) have always understood that prayer can be emotionally intimate. I was shocked to learn that wives find a godly husband so attractive both spiritually and physically. God instructs husbands to be the spiritual leaders of their homes and prepares their wives to respond in a loving way. OK, guys, we should not be godly men because it is an aphrodisiac for our wives; however, the fringe benefits are nice!

May God bless and keep you in His loving care!

Ed and Angie Wright


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