How to Stop Bickering with Your Spouse

Do you find yourself often bickering with your spouse? We have a natural tendency to want to be right and prove that someone who disagrees with us is wrong. If you are right, no defense is necessary. If you are wrong, no defense will do. Jesus wants us to respond to our marital disagreements in a way that glorifies Him. From the Lord’s point of view, it does not matter whether you are right or wrong; what does matter is that you honor God. Are you insisting on your rights, or are you responding like Jesus?

Oswald Chambers wrote, “God is determined to have His child as pure and clean and white as driven snow, and as long as there is disobedience in any point of His teaching, He will prevent none of the working of His spirit. Our insistence in proving that we are right is nearly always an indication that there has been some point of disobedience.” Ephesians 4:26 warns, “In your anger do not sin.”

If you find yourself wanting to disagree with your spouse, think about how you should respond in light of eternity. Our time here on earth is mathematically zero in comparison to eternity. Does whatever you are about to disagree with your spouse about really matter? Instead, agree with your spouse. Do it now. If you catch yourself arguing or having anger in your heart, confess it quickly, repent before God, and reconcile with your spouse. This is what is pleasing to the Lord. Remember, “the Spirit helps us in our weakness,” Romans 8:26.